where did it all go? oh, wait.

me and my fiancé's sister at a New Year's Eve party at THE best place to listen to live music and hang out around here! and guess what? it's family-owned and i feel like i'm at home there! i sit at The Girldfriends'/Old Ladies' Table, keep paws off of Andy, and have drinks and dance!

i. am. so. tired. today has been a little rough so far: i snuck in cup of coffee today and my stomach is paying for it awfully, which is why i'm too sick to be in class right now. seriously, like the doctor said--NO MORE caffeine.

where did all of my glitter-fueled energy go to? i'm usually so much more chipper and talking about rainbows and sparkly dresses.. oh yeah. i'm menstrual. fuck fuck fuckity fuck-fuck. another pair of my panties are ruined forever. i hate you. i hate my puppy. my ass is getting big [Andy is its #1 fan, though]. i want some Marilyn Monroe curls in my hair again. i miss being blonde. i really want to eat some queso. i just really want to go back to my and Andy's home and just relax with bad television and video games.

and kareah made me feel like an ass the other day. apparently my ex wasn't being weird. either he or kareah legitimately had a dream about me and he was only commenting on how uncanny it was that we saw each other. larry wasn't being inappropriate or creepy. it was just a neat, little coincidence. sorry kareah. you should know by now how i react when i get uncomfortable. i don't do good in those situations. thank goodness that they're rare! and you'll have fun at this university when you transfer in the fall. the knowledge that you glean from academics to spirituality is priceless.

[bragstart]
i feel a little better now that i have some relaxation planned. maybe my honey will pick us up some dinner of my choice tonight. did i mention how much i LOVE our new house?! it's an actual house, not the apartments that i had been looking at. we live next to a cop, so there's no trouble to deal with. we have a huge front yard. plenty of room and mulch for my gardening. it's three bedrooms and two bathrooms. washer and dryer connections. we have cable and pretty decorations! an antique gold lamp from the thrift store. i got a couch from freecycle AND we have a new loveseat, chair and ottoman set in a navy/purple color. i even bought a matching pink pillow and patched it up for prettiness! i could go on about the gorgeous coffee table and hardwood floors, BUT i'll just post pictures of the housewarming party eventually. no ones likes to bragged to, even if the bragger is as cute as i am!
[endbrag]

since i miss all of my friends so much, i'd love to hear about your most awful moods when you're menstruating. please tell me that i'm not the craziest one. please tell me that someone has thrown a shoe at somebody or something.

ohh, oh what's going on?

i've been less productive for some reasons. i could just pick one from a list actually. but i've been smiling the whole time and even laughing some [and wearing plenty of eyeliner]! here's recent news from my personal "life" in bullet form:

• my old uni's football team made a HUGE college football celebrity cry

• been having baby fever and dreaming of fuzzy-headed biracial babies because when i remove my NuvaRing, my hormones want me to be crazy
• fought with screamed at my Old Man and had a BIG discussion with him, his mother, and his nephew about my food cravings also because of my hormones : (
• wore a wig out in the snow to go listen to some live music! and got asked to dance at least ten times
  
• finished transferring universities to a nice, liberal arts school here at home after a semester at a junior college!!
• ate some delicious Minestrone from an old Italian recipe for the first time--Andy's mommy is a beautiful Italian woman who can cook like no one else!
• been studying until i forget to eat in between times
• stopped consuming caffeine
•  discovered a new soda that has St. John's Wort, chamomile, lavender, and everything BUT weed in it. it has a warning to not consume it before driving and to not drink more than one bottle a day. it scares me.

have fun winding down your semesters and making plans for your holiday breaks! mine's gonna be awesome and filled with all of the things that make me so genuinely happy!

why? and some answers.

just some sadly amusing self-refection for me while i'm PMSing:

• why am i having two periods this month? switching from Yaz to the Ring [and then back again] is killing my iron supply. i'm just going to wear a diaper everyday just in case. at least there aren't any babies. my puppy is way too much.
  

• why is Andy such an attractive smartass? my facebook feed alerted me that Andy and one of my exes were friends days ago, along with other completely need-to-know news. Larry requested to be friends and Andy accepted to be an arrogant asshole.. just because the both of them call themselves musicians of some kind doesn't mean that Andy is "friends" with him. but facebook encourages this sort of interaction. i've got tons of  "friends" myself. and i love Andy--even his bad jokes. [have you read our proposal story?]
  

• should i have a joint bank account with my fiancé? because we're going to share the same expenses in January, does it mean that everything should be AndyandCheniece? what about our lease? this is so excitingly overwhelming. either way, me and my mother and my aunt and my grandmother [and..] are going to do most of the decorating in me and Andy's place. oh, yeah!
  

• why am i sick again? i have had a ton of illnesses recently [it's currently stomach flu] because my immune system is as strong as my weight--but the swine flu has not been one of them. ironic. 

• why does my mother refuse to love me?! i'm sick and i just asked her to turn the heat on, and she told me no..  :-(
  

• why am i never satisfied with my blog's layout? someone point me in the direction of some resources for template styling.

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and i know that i've been dead to the blogger world for a while; i've been busy. this post was completely an excercise for my PMSing. i'll get back up to commenting soon! ciao till tomorrow!

crossing my fingers..

i think that i just found a new home for myself and the mister. not too excited about the $300 pet deposit though. thanks, Yaya, you awful, awful [but amazingly adorable] puppy.

it's a nice gated community, the rentals are old but newly renovated, which means that i get to have all of that old-fashioned space all fixed up with practical rent expense. it's clean. it's not "in the hood." Andy wouldn't have to worry about leaving me there some nights when he has practice. the neighbors are not shady, out-of-control characters. it's not an eyesore [actually quite attractive]. i'm excited, but it's just a possibility now. i'm in no rush to move out again.


my birthday was so special. Andy's family loaded me with presents and cake, even a singing candle. part of my gifts were the first season to FX's Sons of Anarchy [oh yeah!] and matching Snuggees for me and my puppy! i even got a new Placebo albumn that i've never heard of. it sounds divine, of course.

i need to eat--i can feel my blood sugar dropping :-( i've been quitting all of the yucky antidepressants that i've been taking. that mixture of chemicals was hardly effective AND i had awful side effects [nightmares, nausea, no libido, ahhh!]. my treatment is now going in a completely organic route. multivitamin everyday, St. John's Wort regulary, soon some Maca powder and sulfur supplents, Ginko perhaps, and some Rhodiola rosea. it's already been working wonders and saving me A LOT of money. i feel like i've got my own apothecary going on!..

but yeah, getting back to locating some food!

making magic and gearing up.

i've been catching up with my blogger friends. if i have recently commented on your post, and you are not linked here [and want to be cool like all of the other people who are], just drop me a line!

i'm not dreading school as much as i thought that i would. i have a lovely secondhand black professional-looking messenger bag now. i can't wait to get some stencils and decorate it with "CHERRY" in big, pink letters. i'm going to rock moving back home and going to college like nobody's business. try to keep up with me!

my little bro is A-OK. his lung is healing and i get to kill him with my own two hands.
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how is your summer winding down? have you been making magic with your time? you better have been. been dancing to Prince? prancing around on balconies and rooftops with a camera? bought some new panties because you manage to ruin all of yours during the Lady Days like i still do? whatever you've been breeding magic into your life with, i'm glad for you and am telling you that everything is going to be OK. nothing is as relieving as the sight of the world moving on.

kisses and hugs and all of that mushy business.
ciao!

laughing at engagement club and lungs.

this is a repost from a failure of a time that i let myself have in the past. i'm giving it new light and laughing at it now because it's very and fabulously relevant!

1. The first rule of Engagement club is: you do not talk about Engagement Club.
2. The second rule of engagement club is: you DO NOT talk about Engagement Club.
3. If a fiancé(e) says "stop," goes limp, taps out, the engagement is over.
4. Only two really hopeful people to an engagement.
5. One engagement at a time.
6. No wedding band, yet no looking back, ether.
7. Engagements will go on as long as they have to [even years].
8. If this is your first night at Engagement Club, you have to make a bigger deal out of it than is necessary.

haha!

this is SO funny. the wedding bells are still chiming in my ear, but i have to remember to step back and not take things so dreadfully serious. no one makes it out alive, but i'm going to be rocking my ring and smiling anyway. if you're not enjoying your time, it's wasted!

just found out that my little brother has a condition where a lobe of his lung is collapsed. it's scary and upsetting, but it corrects itself. he better NOT be trying to die because i always said that it would be me to kill him! biology is SO scary, which is probably why i'm studying it--to conquer it in a way. he'll be fine now that we know what's wrong and that it naturally corrects itself.

even i have difficulties keeping on the sunny side, especially considering this circumstances. i'm smiling tonight. wish me more smiles for my gorgeous face and my family. i wish that i wasn't so bleh feeling and that i could pour out some internet love and hugs to everyone. let's all just take a deep breath and do something productive and wonderful with our days tomorrow.. get up a little earlier than you do normally. work out for thirty minutes. actually do some house work! kiss your mother and little brothers for me. create a fabulous routine to carry yourself through this semester. make some goals, enter them into a cool graphics program and decorate it and frame it over your desk. live more green and healthy. change your hair like one of my lovely blogger friends has just done ;) splurge on Guitar Hero World Tour like my fiance has done and rock out for your friends.

dreading school? GET OVER IT. or just play some Prince and dance around until everything [even horrible classes] is water under your bridge.

i'm off! computer kisses and genuine affection to you dolls.
ciao.

advices and purple toes.

i've been the receiver of some comforting words of wisdom in my day. my stone-faced dad isn't the most verbal type, but here's what he had to say to me one day:

"you can't worry about tomorrow until it gets here. you can only deal with today."

woah, right? i think that this is is similar to a Bible verse for any who might have an idea of what i'm referencing. tomorrow will bring enough troubles of its  own, and such. really powerful, if you think about it when you feel overwhelmed and anxious like i do often.

and here is what i've gotten in the habbit of reminding myself:
"acknowledge all of the little wins in life, because the big fails will always bring their own share of  negative attention from your mother, Trustmark Bank, your gynecologist, etc."

valuable stuff right? i thought so.
also, look at this little jewel that i found while riding in the backseat of my own car!..

 

Artmatic Pearly Grape nail polish! i got it in a shopping bag full of loot from a thrift store a while back. gonna be an artful change from my midnight blue and sparkly toenails. i'm going to have fun with this right now! or at least right after i finish puppysitting my new baby. that's right--me and Andy have a new addition!... she's got four legs, a tail, and floppy ears. Queenie Bella, i'm thinking. 

alright, have fun with yourselves and make your life an adventure!

ciao and crazy love,

cherry.

haha!!1!

haha, ohmygosh. this is old, but it sure is funny! Black People Love Us!
i have to show Andy when he gets back. he's on tour in the Northeast for a week right now. i'm so proud of him and i love bragging, as you have just witnessed. my family has enjoyed having me back; they've made some jokes about forgetting what i look like. well, the joke's on them because i'm hanging out with Andy's sister tonight! wooo!

bleh. it's way early. where's my coffee? ciao friends. is anybody dreading the thought of school? actually excited? going to kill yourself or maybe just some kittens?..

of MJ and not even dinner and a movie.

this is my MiMaw at a spontaneous and totally, ridiculously juvenile tea party. she is amazing!!!

------------------------------------------------------------

i'm just remembering that i had a dream about Michael Jackson last night--intensely. and it was moderately inappropriate, which is like saying that "it's fucking hot today!."

me and andy should do this date idea proposed by miss Gala Darling:

• “My old neighbourhood” date

Walk around the area you used to live, & tell your date about where you used to ride your bike, what happened on that one lawn, which house was best to hit up on hallowe’en & who the really creepy neighbours were.

sounds fun, even if I was the creepy neighbor. i should liveblog it and give it its own twitter hash-tag... #andy&cherryawesomedate. hah!
----------------------
i promise to get up on my commenting. right after i figure out my place in the world--hell, after i figure out my place in this apartment....

ahhh!!! :D

i haven't stopeed screaming/crying since yesterday when it happened! what does this mean? will i stop being so cool? will i gain weight? will i get pregnant [HEL NO!]?

more than likely, i'll just continue to be fabulous with this ring on my finger. i'll post the whole proposal story later and upload it to our wedding website. that. guy. is. smart. and i'm damned lucky and SO HAPPY! i'm in a cloud of love so thick it's making other people sick! haha--and my mom told Andy "no givsies backsies!" after she expressed how glad she was to get rid of me :D

so tickled pink and just tickled!

• i'm getting all of the "inseparable" moments i want with my boyfriend. i go to most of his performances. his family adores me. i almost killed his sister and cousin on the way out to a blues club. the family babies all play with me and make me polish their toenails and read books to them [i should start charging]. 


• my parents are bitching me out like they used to do when i lived here. i managed to call my little brother an "asshole" at the top of my lungs  before breakfast today. my accent is back. i'm re-learning directions and learning new ones that i should have always had in the back of my head.


• there are little bad-ass kittens to raise. Sons of Anarchy returns soon. my period is over... i could explode with bliss.


• and me and Andy are on a bet / game in which we abstain from sex [and i'm talking any type of nookie] for an entire week. four more days to go. i feel like that Ramones song: "24 hours to go, I wanna be sedated..." the man was in such a foul mood yesterday... wonder why. haha!! i love it when he can barely keep his hands off of me hunts me down on the bed [or floor or car backseat or against the side of the house] out of unchecked lust. the longer our "fast" lasts, the more intense things will be when it's over. YES! i hope that i survive any encounter after these next four days. i'll check back in ;)
  

start of summer 09

somebody had to do it!
i'm home and everybody wants it to be FOR GOOD. and it feels good right now, so maybe i'll stay. lot's of exciting things happening at home. my boyfriend's older brother bought some property in a historic district downtown and he's turning it into a bar / hangout spot. i'm excited! it'll be an easy, comfortable way for me [and any of my buddies] to get involved in the night life with no gunshots and no "one-race-only" atomosphere.

also, i'm really excited about: raising five kittens, being with my little cousins, eating breakfast for the first time EVER, thrifting, buying video games, being with Andy and remembering how exactly in love with him i am.

woah! a Trojan Condoms commercial just played.. "ride out these tough times together," America? that's some thick innuendo! using protection should not be too hard to stay on top of!

things i'm going to do this summer

• buy a MacBook


• watch the new Wolverine movie and convince folks that it was Andy's idea


• hang out at Frank Jones' Corner


• maybe move home and get a place?!!


• purchase and read a book for leisure


• get a job that doesn't involve me digging up old, orange booty shorts of mine
  

things i've done so far

• make friends with ladies in the wig shop


• have a dog kiss me in the mouth


• gotten a prescription for BC


• add on to my personal literary projects


• eat way too much Subway


• fought with both of my little brothers in one day [actually in five minutes]
  

hope everyone gave each and every woman in his or her life who has ever been pregnant the BIGGEST kiss ever on sunday. haven't blogged in forever, but now i feel like i should do it even less often and expand my life some more. i'm going to live my life and leave you wishing that you could live it too!

everyone should do this! be a busy, cocky asshole. i've done it before and free time shouldn't get in the way of it.

marital rape is legal

assuming the worst, that is. i almost threw up when i read this article from the Bust magazine website. apparently, a married woman can't refuse sex from her husband if this bill is passed. how disgusting. if that country doesn't want the world to think that it's full of monkeys, then a bad job is being done of it. i could spit in the supporters' eyes. don't fuck with me and women's rights.

on a lighter note:

TGIF!!! i need a break! i've been pissing blood thanks to a sanitation issue, but i'm better. i drove an hour away to be with my manfriend for the weekend while he was performing. credit card statements will go back to my house stating "EconoLodge." how classy. i literally walked up onto a celebrity downtown there: i noticed some old guys flirting with me, so i asked them for a light for my Andy's cigar since they were talking to me. turns out, one of them is C. L. Blast [and here]. he introduced himself and showed me a picture of himself with Isaac Hayes from way back when they used to perform together. then i asked him to sign my program. it was great. he had forgotten what year it was and it was so cute.

after we left the hotel together, one of Andy's teachers said to him "I know that you're gonna play good today!" the jazz performances were great. yes, Andy does it all. him and his university sounded divine and jazz isn't even my cup of tea.

i need another break soon. i miss singing "Bohemian Rhapsody" with Andy in the van. i miss kicking someone in my sleep. i don't miss nearly killing everyone on I-20 on my drive there and back for that weekend.

tried to pull the pregnancy joke on my mom for April 1st. she cursed me the fuck out and and told me to buy a test to make sure. then she said that she was coming after me with a clothes hanger. shit. she got the joke and started laughing and apologized for calling me a skank-ass whore. she was SO angry! it was funny how Andy went from being her "favorite son-in-law" to "that sorry motherfucker" in two seconds. Daddy laughed and said that he would choke the shit out of him until he turned purple--and marriage? no one is taking his daughter unless they're employed, have a house, two cars, and are damned near running for Congress first!

oh boy.


me and C.L. Blast and his signature both taken with my Pantech C150.

my feel good revolution

this is what i'm currently and violently thankful for:

• my Wonder Woman mother
• my grandmother who reminds me of how great a tool prayer really is. i admire her for being able to just give me a scripture to read off of the top of her head.
• cheap used PS2 games and year-long warranties at GameStop
• peppermint tea
• Acetaminophen
• freshly shaved and sugar-scrubbed legs
• groceries [peppermint tea]!
• Kareah presently being with my ex "fiancé" Larry and having his baby. and while i'm at it, i'm pretty thankful for all of the rotten things his family and friend-turned-baby's mother put me through (like his big sister trying to kick my ass). this was not the life for me! the cancer has rudely been cut out, but it's out. i didn't need any of that obviously.
• having some campus cop randomly flirt with me and tell me that i look good
• good books and my friends who love them almost as much as i do
• the hope that comes with tomorrow
• THRIFT STORES!
• Pita Pit
• my fiddling manfriend whom i think hung the moon and makes magic with his eyes
• wet dreams starring comic book characters and the like that i get after i've been drinking
• Tori Amos' music touching my soul. that woman transcends so much.
• my family [living and not passed] which gets so much of my intense, hard love
• never being able to tell someone how much i truly love them because words can't encompass such. it gives me something to always aim for when i see them.
• eyeliner

Break's over :(

i feel remarkable. i'm so thankful that i have the resources and the strength to get out of bed, even when it feels like i'll never make it through the day. and then i laugh at all the other times that i've felt that way [this month even] as i work out and have some coffee. i feel remarkable.

my Spring Break was slightly uneventful, but i was immensely pleased. i got to argue with my family and eat Mom's cooking. i got to stare up into my boyfriend's face and meet more of his wonderful family. his sister read my feminist rant and hugged me for writing it. it was weird, but i enjoyed agreeing with someone. she's so great. i just can't post about her brother in lewd ways anymore. i'll just keep most of that in my head from now on. it was getting pretty bad; i felt like an 18 yr. old boy.

there was plenty of beer on Bourbon Street. there were also plenty of cabaret girls in their underwear. i ate overpriced crawfish when i could go back home and cook them myself for free. i ate beignets at the fake Café du Monde in Riverwalk Mall. i saw some folks who went to my university. i took a picture of some guy dressed as a jester and i named him Arlechino when his real name is prolly just Jake. my boyfriend fiddled and some woman cried after one of the songs. she had a boyfriend, but she apparently likes musicians a lot. i'm not jealous; i can't blame her!

i didn't see any vampires, but a musician friend of my second family lent me one of her vampire books to read. it's not Anne Rice, but it ain't awful. i'll give it back next time that they tour.

i'm back in Campus Town and i miss home only because i love home a little too much maybe. so it's not really a bad thing. i've got easy decisions to make and experiences to enjoy. i should shower and wash the dishes from breakfast. i should finish the love poem i'm writing and i should write another one to myself!


the Natchez steamer; credit to myself!

a shot of Decatur Street; credit to myself!

laissez-les bons temps mourir? nah.

Spring Break!!!

i'm ready to Spring Break myself all over. here's to a week of bliss: family, church, good food, good music, my significant other, New Orleans or the beach, fun, and other stuff that i might get myself into.

if you're from my home town, not Campus Town, you should head to Hal & Mal's to see my boyfriend and some other good musicians jam on Saturday night 3/14. it's gonna be great; i'm gonna LOOK great. you're not doing shit else anyway. support local music! you'll love it!

no comments. everyone have fun and be safe/smart! take pictures!

sugar for sex; we played chess.

the title sums up my weekend in a rush. went home for some rehabilitation and tearful prayers and fried fish. i scraped a beguiling pathogen from the roof of my significant other's mouth and now my stomach is being violent like his was being a week ago. in my opinion, we all need a stomach virus to sit us down and remind us to pause, think, and wash our hands after using the toilet.

instead of blogging, i've been holding back vomit, been writing, been saying "Alleluia" with my grandmother and my aunt after medication. when is Spring Break? when did i fail at being fabulous?

no, i actually feel fine now. i really do. anytime i feel my depression taking a down cycle, i have my resources that i fall back on to keep me afloat and it's nice! not trying to preach to you here, but The Serenity Prayer is great to pray or just say to yourself. also, John 14 is honey.

i have to study, as always. surely when these cooties have run their course, i can get back to my senses. use Lysol! use soap! don't eat unwashed food or kiss your germy manfriend too deeply even if his eyes are blue!

actual V-Day.

i don't even effing care if you care or not, but i had the best Valentine's Day--ever!

• i dressed up like a hot pink whore and put on a glam wig because my own hair was way too tangled
• i bought my family some nice expensive gifts. they all think that they stink now, though.
  
• i bought andy some nice Very Sexy for Him from Vicky's Secret; i hope he doesn't think that i think that he's smelly. that stuff just smells wonderful!
• andy took me to see Coraline instead of Friday the 13th after he read a silly comment i made on my blog. he's great.
  
• andy made me dinner at his parents' house: there were dim lights, candles, a rose, wine, and jazz music. he even wore a little apron. he was so tired when he was done that he didn't eat much. i did! that stuff was good! [my white boyfriend cooked his black girlfriend fried chicken, lulz. it was 1) a salad with raspberry vinaigrette, candied walnuts, and grapes, 2) asparagus, 3) reverse fried rice with lemon and nutmeg, 4) and Italian breaded chicken cutlets with lemon zest in olive oil, not peanut oil. it was all very lemony tasting and yummy.]
  
• we went to his place with dessert.
  
• he played me a song on his violin. it's called something like "Her Laugh," or "Giggle." he explained the different transitions in the music and how they mirrored my essence. lovely.
  
• he gave me a cute card, a tee shirt with our hometown university on it so i can feel close to home out here, and a sweet cap that folks here have never seen before.
• the dessert happened to be a tin of homemade chocolate-covered strawberries. they were delicious! some of the chocolate froze to the paper, so he scraped it off and we fed it to each other with a spoon. this was fun.
  
• ...
  

okay, on other notes, i have weird visitors to my blog whom i probably know. someone from back home has been visiting from a casualty insurance company. someone else has been using Google Chrome to visit and my family is addicted to Firefox. also, someone has Vista, but all the folks from back home who read me that i know have XP or some other OS. i even have a few proxy visits. swweeet!.. i suppose i could just zoom in to the street addresses using my tracking server. maybe later. the Internet is great.

my exam is over. i killed it with an A i'm assuming. i have more next week :( my apartment is infested with ants now and the maintenance man had to move around all of the wine bottles to spray properly! bleh.

ciao! i feel sick from The Pill and tired from studying. nap time!

lovie-day weekend.

did YOU have an awesome weekend?

sorry for not commenting and hanging out like usual. i've been busy spending time with an amazing man and my family. i've been learning to bake, giving gifts, and talking on the phone. when i get back to Campus Town tomorrow, i'll be swamped with studying for the first part of the week [this is becoming regular and increasingly NOT FUN], so i'll ttyl!

cherry.

tag!

all of you bitches who tagged me better effing read this or i will come visit you and make you eat something that i cooked.
-----------------------------------------
1.Each blogger must post these rules first.
2.Each blogger starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
3.Blogger that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their 8 things.
4.At the end of your blog,you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.
5.Don't forget to leave them a comment, telling them that they've been tagged and to read your blog.
------------------------------------------
1) i start to sneeze when i get really aroused. honestly. weird, i know. if my door is locked and you hear me sneezing, just come back in 15 minutes because i'm more than likely busy.
2) my mom is sick and it breaks my heart that someone so good has to suffer. it makes me feel helpless and scared for myself. and then she calls me and jokes about me being a clueless skank and it's all better.
3) i have two cigarette burns: one on either hand.
4) i'm such a tense person that my shoulders are frozen in an "up" position. i have to pause and make myself relax them.
5) i don't think that i've ever been this happy [which is way sad in itself], but it pisses me off because i don't want it to be due to some man, no matter how wonderful he is.
6) i like cats more than most people. yes, even you.
7) i'm actually so smart that i have no common sense. i have no idea what directions are. i put my shoes on the wrong feet. i can't cook without giving someone food poisoning. i can't even remember to eat enough times a day to not feel faint and awful.
8) when i consider my past, i smile SO BIG. i get sad sometimes, but my life isn't sad, as in pathetic and hilarious! and i've just concluded: i don't have lots of friends because cheap folks don't flock to me to make their own lives feel more substantial. they can't because it doesn't work; i actually deserve respect. "friendship" is often synonymous to one person [the one who believes in the friendship] being a fool.

i'm not a dummy like that! i just don't know where i'm going when i get in my car!
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and i'm not tagging folks because some of you already have been tagged multiple times like myself. let's just simplify it: whoever hasn't had a turn, it's your turn now. tag! you're it, bitch!