he couldn't keep his hands out of my pants.

not as perverted as you may think, but maybe it is.

this bag is the most expensive clothing article that i own. thanks, antonio! he spent 40+ bucks on me last night, which was more eventful than i am making it seem.

i didn't want to spend any time with him, at first, i'll admit. i had seem him the day before to view Revenge of the Sith [and am about to see him in a few hours' time] and i was burned out. i met him, anyways, for a day of shopping. i met a bunch of friends at the mall to whom i was more than keen to show antonio off to. one even gave me the thumbs up. aside from all of that, though, there was plenty of unwanted attention. after seeing two of my exes [?] and having one of them be a little too friendly in antonio's opinion, he got fighting-mad. i'll stop beating around the bush; emmett was about to get fucked-up. josh had sense; he walked right on by. my little brother even joked around and said something along the lines of "...showing him off to all your old boyfriends, huunh?" right as josh, ammon, and the rest were walking by. almost forgot to mention all of the women eyeballing antonio... i mean, turning their heads and craning their necks. and yeah, as always, men couldn't keep their eyes off of me. and i have never had people just move out of my way, look down like they respected me and move out of the way, instead of pushing me around like i was a doll! grown men saying 'oh, excuse me!' haha! i love my mean and stuck-up looking boyfriend! perfect match for me, right?

we retired to home after him buying my paris hilton bag and matching shades [pink!] and and that's where he discovered that he could detect my pulse in my vagina. and likewise with me--well, not his vagina but his equivalent. on the ride home i gave him our first real kiss, one to erase those awkward, unwanted ones from the movie the day before.

chris, i know that you're probably mad at me, or don't care about me enough to be mad at me, but you have to trust me to not be stupid enough to let something like what you fear is going to happen to actually happen. thanks for caring so much, though! like i've told you before, you're the only one of my friends who gives a flying-fuck, which makes you my only friend, doesn't it? in all honesty, i value your opinions and concerns over anyone else's.

progress.

my heart doesn't hurt nearly as much when i happen to think about Asshole! matter-of-factly, i am thinking about said Asshole less and less! i deserve a cookie, or something!

even better news:
i'm an Internet ho, for real. someone at practice commented about seeing my pictures online; it went something along the lines of:
friend: are your pictures on the Internet?
me: [intrigued and a little scared] yeah...
friend you know someone named Christina?
me: oh, yeah.
friend: then, yeah; that was you!

my website is up. http://freewebs.com/cheniece -- go visit.

hm. antonio?.... what to say?.... antonio.

ups and downs.

my boyfriend can get a hard-on now without any pain! [notice the pun with the title?]

i have a 83.2 in Algebra 2, which sucks because it is a borderline B. I wanna B, damnit! i work hard enough for one! i cried when i got home; i was so disappointed. soon after, i had a rough sleep. good morning!soon after that, i studied [crammed] World History for several hours.

i can't breathe through my nose and i am stressing over exams, which means more lost hair. that along with the mountain of Vick's under my nose--i'm gorgeous!

note to self: take some vitamins. collapsing after a few toe-touches is not cool. neither is passing out. need electrolytes.

two more days of school for the year! damned final exams...

something to piss chris off.

look at the boyfriend!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

antonio.

i've spent all day with him. he's great. what a whole bunch of hair! i'm about to get real serious here: his face is twisted into a grimace because of the nerve damage that came with the accident he had with the car. his legs are smaller and less developed than mine because he isn't supposed to be walking. in fact, his left one was supposed to be amputated a while back, but he has both of his chicken legs! he isn't scared of guns; he's looked down the barrel of one and almost died at the hands of his mother's drunk policeman boyfriend. it may be mother's day, but his mother is nowhere to be found; she has abandoned him three times before he was sixteen. great that he doesn't much miss her. he's like my broken prince! sigh. i'm done.

i wish daddy would just tell momma "Happy Mothers' Day," or something. he really is an ass. i try not to think about him, because compared to people like antonio, my family is really great. i wish i could say "Fuck Daddy," and get away with it, but he is still my father, even if that is how i really feel about him. i could could cut that damned man is his fucking sleep! why are men so damned dumb?! i'm done.

like the new layout? look at my booty!!

yeah, chris. no need to apologize. i love you, too. je t'aime.

BA-NAN-AS.

lemme hear you say, "this shit is bananas, BA-NAN-AS!"

it really is, though. boys are so damned stupid. larry called! it would be inefficient to paraphrase our conversation, because it was longer than i would have liked.

basically, i told him that he was not supposed to call me. HE WASN'T! in response, the dummy said that he couldn't let me out of his life so easily because i had no intention of ever calling him back myself, right? i didn't comment. of course i wasn't ever going to call him back!--i didn't even reply to his txt! he kept trying to talk to me and eventually said that an idea i had about something was "sexy." don't flatter me because you fucked up! it's all very futile... anyway, i said that i had to get off the phone repeatedly, and at his attempts to prolong the conversation and to disrespect my not-so-subtle wishes, i hung the phone up [in his face]!

"i ain't no hollaback girl..."