Pansexuality.

ohmygosh. well, during my lurking over at LJ's joker x harley community, i noticed that one of the contributors throws a term around that i'm unfamiliar with. pansexuality is what she uses to describe herself and, if i'm not mistaken [and i might be], The Joker.

so what is this pansexuality? i searched for the wiki and it is linked in the entry below. i read it and was filled with delight [seriously]. there is a name for it!

i mean, i have NEVER called myself a bisexual, because it doesn't fit. i am not a bisexual girl. i embrace the fact that sex is anatomical and gender is as relative as the number of people who chose or chose not to be boxed in by it. that is to say, there are more than two genders because the two sexes are so old and so boring...

and i side with pansexuality/omnisexuality because it just makes sense. fuck tila tequila! the world is filled with more than just guys and dolls, and i can just as easily have romantic inclinations to an anatomical male as i would to an anatomical male who wears heels higher than mine.

but we all knew this and it is not new. but the vocabulary is to me! so yay! Pansexuality!

there's a name for it!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pansexuality

joker X harley quinn.

so:
Joker is a sociopath, bank-robbing gangster of a Crime Clown who has intense mood swings. one minute he can be a harmless trickster pulling a fish out of a gun; and the next, he can setting the timer on a bomb to blow up your family. he thinks the biggest joke in life is the fact that you and me place so much value on what's gonna evade us in the end. it all can burn and we're going to die with it.

Harley is a doctor tired of the role she was playing with her worthless degree. She believes in Mistah J's radical views about the hypocrites of the world and their deluded value in transience. She is immensely attracted to Joker's devilish charm from the Jazz Age and submits into an abusive and dysfunctional relationship with him.

Together, the two become two of a kind. they are highly functional for their joined effort, despite the fact that one minute Joker will choke Harley into near unconsciousness and lick her face the next. Harley will shoot Joker in the shoulder one minute and wear red lingerie for him and use a whoopie cushion as a sex toy the next. it's a Mad Love.

okay, i did some research on all of that super condensed goodness. i don't own Mad Love, or any of No Man's Land for direct reference and for quotes [help me out?] but an immense amount of secondhand studies was done. i'll give you some links of the goodness.

as far as TDK? well, i won't review it, sorry. no review necessary. it's so phenomenal and special. LedJoker told The Batman that he had the feeling that the two of them would be doing their dance forever, and it's his biggest crime that they won't be. i have only a little faith that someone can replace LedJoker, and i appreciate his slight deviation from the comics. gotta love the scars. so unique.

shhh, don't tell anyone but i've been watching it on bootleg online. i told you once and i'll say it again: i've donated MY money to the cause. i've seen it twice on the big screen. gas money is too expensive these days for me to throw some more money out there. Heath won't ever get it, so..

links:
community.livejournal.com/jokerxharley
www.jokerxharley.com/
http://www.jokerxharley.net/efiction/
http://www.fanfiction.net/community/Mad_Love/10063/

i'm a fangirl.

but i'm a dedicated one that has had the same sick adoration for the same monsters for over a decade. and now with this new form of my gangster bank robber Clown Prince of Crime, the sickness is rekindled and i can squee at the movie theatre and frown at the thirteen-year-old girl next to me who has never owned a Batman comic in her life, who has never faithfully watched any of his animated series, who has never wet dreamed about Joker cutting her with a knife until Heath Ledger [wonderfully] put the image into her pubescent mind.

i'm gonna buy this movie bootlegged [i've seen it twice, so i've spent my share of cash] and i'm going to do a late, but great review. and then, i'll post some links for my JokerXHarley Quinn fascination and thier Mad Love. be looking out for it and get into the mood for some obsessive appreciation for the personality disorders, domestic violence, and even more of the twisted just as soon as i get the jizz out of my panties and sheets long enough to have time to type.

.

i just left my car blasting a Danzig song--the perfect one, i will add--and i'm so full of thoughts from fresh experiences that i could scream again.

so i've unfortunately come to terms that i don't have a best friend anymore and that i my exes are not my friends over and over again at each painful encounter, intimate or not. and it's embarrassing to feel physically pushed away instead of just rejected. it's embarrassing to have to live such base rejection. it's maddeningly anger-inducing to not ever be on the side that's protecting itself, being selfish, pushing someone away from their car door so that they can leave, saying "Goodbye" in a shitty tone.

and then i'm pissed at her and i'm so fucking angry at him [angry atm e for letting him] that i'm blasting the radio and actually driving the speed limit away and Danzing's "Mother" drills itself in my head..

i don't wanna find Hell with anyone else but myself. he is not my Scarecrow God, and she is no gift. i am [cliché, but absolutely true] my own best thing and i'm the shit. i don't need to hang off of anyone else's power and allure for my own. i possess it already and i should recognize that.

my bitch-ass family goodness.

so, i've pretty much got to find something to do today. i don't have chemistry lab and gas money isn't an issue because hey, you live once. wow! i have a 20% off Borders coupon in my email. i think i know who's going down Lakeland!

a girl, via facebook messenger, told me last night that she was inspired to start blogging because of me. you know, i think about that and i go "how cool!" because it really is! i inspire people?! how about that! and yeah, i feel extra chipper today for some reason.

actually, i know the exact reason. i believe that God [not gonna preach to ya] leaves our parents or other annoying, wise people around on earth for a reason. yeah, we want to hit them in the face for always drilling their advice into our skulls, but [and i'm gonna be a little morbid here, yeesss!] there has to be a reason that they're not dead, yet, right?

seriously. with all of the people that just die, literally blown up off of the face of the earth at any time, why is my old nagging grandmother still around to nag me? why is my handicapped mother still here bitching at me? why is your bitch-ass mother still around?

i'm not saying that they're flawless and the types of characters you see in movies. hell, my folks are far from that. in fact, most of what my mother tells me is actually just bitching. but you know, sometimes, when i ask for it and when i need it most, she's there to keep me from doing the absolutely wrong thing. when i'm crying because life doesn't make sense, my old grandmother is there to help me put things into perspective, because she has lived it before [a few times] and she is on a different level from me and can be personal and objective at the same time. and i LOVE my strong, wise bitch-ass female family members for what they have instilled me with to this day.

not saying that i especially needed it today. i'm glad to say that i'm getting really good at managing my own chaos and fighting my own demons, but i appreciate their presence so much, i can't even describe. i'm not going to complian about them anymore. they have their purposes with me and i'm going to let them have that.

wonder what book i'll end up buying today? suggestions?

im dropping out of university! NOT.

NOSY FUCKER. AS IF. I'M NOT LEAVING UNIVERSITY IF IT KILLS ME FIRST. but do continue.
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i'm one of those people who agree and say that "Everyone isn't cut out to do the college thing.." because everyone is NOT. College is just one of those [great] things in life that's destined to not be in at least someone's reality. and after lending a hand, actually both of them , and a comb and some rollers, i can conclude that i'm not cut out for some things, as well. i am NOT going to be good at doing hair. i've had my own hair for all of my life and i can't even part it correctly. turns out that i've been using the wrong part of the comb in the absolutely wrong way.. damn.

and you know what? it feels nice to say that i fail at hair aesthetics with confidence. because i friggin DO and saying it just means that i'm still figuring things out about myself. hell, i suck at hair and prolly alot more stuff if i fully give myself enough time to develop a more full knowledge of all that i can REALLY suck at!

and being in a relationship for a relationship's sake is something i suck at--something i refuse to do with everything inside of me. and me being the goofy, almost preteen teenybopper studying an *Nsync poster that i am when it comes to matters of the heart, makes it difficult for me to not compromise and do that. what i am doing, the example of my life, Quirkyalone.net has put into the title of a book, Quirkyalone: A Manifesto for Uncompromising Romantics. well, whaddya know?

i don't feel badly about my decision, about my reasoning and logic. it gives me such a dynamic and meaningful journey to go on. and this isn't the type of journey i'm undertaking because of duty, because it is cool, because i have twists in my hair and because i would look cool doing this and it will build my "status" in someone else's world. haha, i'm still a smartass. no, this is something full of real substance that hopefully i can understand in time, or at least learn to appreciate and traverse with grace while my hair looks like the mop that it does.

aw, man. i just saw Garden State again two nights ago. i LOVE that movie. maybe because braff's character is figuring out is own life while he is off his antidepressants. i know how THAT goes! someone who has a house, please let's have a movie night in my honor while we watch a weird one that actually MEANS something! there has to be more meaning these days!

tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, but adieu.

being black, chic, and a chemistry student.

i'm really hung over from cough suppressant. i just HAD to get to sleep last night before 2AM. my body has been so exhausted and i'll be damned if i let myself fail at my duties because of stuff that doesn't matter.

been having so much enlightened fun surfing some very noteworthy blogs by other black women with fun titles, like Black Girls Rock It! and such. i never claimed to pioneer the whole interracial thing, it's SO refreshing to see other women make sense out of it. i mean, it's 2008 and black guys are still black guys and you won't know the joy of other guys until you try them. yummy, yummy Korean undergrads.

anyways. i haven't let go of my Chemistry book in weeks and it's not fun. my life is definitely not getting any easier, but do you know what IS changing? what's evolving is how i tackle it and i'm so happy to say today that i've been doing it for so long now with success and i haven't been down for too long YET.

i still need to do some document uploading and scanning. i love getting things done--things that i want to get done.