lame party with some fam.

mom should be proud.

yesterday, i felt the need to be away from this cramped home, lest i mope and itch, so i seized the opportunity to catch up with the bestie. it was great; i miss her. we went to our mall here, the one i haven't visited since i actually lived here and checked out the sales. i almost wrecked on the way there; i swear that i shouldn't have a license. the traffic was horrible. what's new? we laughed, people watched, and left for some food because i couldn't find any clothes!

after i scarfed down some Raising Cane's with embarrassing speed freezing in the funny-looking electrical fans' breeze, we left for her house because hey--it's better than moping and being depressed. she has her own guy problems, too. couldn't have two wimyn feeling bitter and and pissed yesterday for the same reason. i say, "fuck it." very frankly, i do.

so the rest of the day was spent at her home in front of her monitor YouTubing insane stuffs a\until i got the bright idea to go to this party. everybody there was going to be younger than us, we didn't care at this point. my sister is back in town from campus for break and my brother likes to party, so it was quite a family affair.

it was SO lame! i swear [all of the time] that there was no one in the house with a degree. no good for me, because that's all i will talk to: men with degrees. the DJ sucked ass and i couldn't get away from the smell of marijuana. whoever it was smoking it must have been right next to me because the smell kept wafting right up my nose. the guy on the other side of me thought it was "delicious" smelling. to each his/her own.

we left really early, like around 130P and i took my friend back home all the way on the other side of town. then it was back to own side. my sister jumped in her car hat she is so privileged to have :( and it was the end of another night in history.

so i socialized with my geeky kid sister and forgot about the dumbness in the world for one more night. how many more to go?

an empowered day.

haha. so here's how forgetting what i can't control is going.

i went to the mall today to get in on the wonderful sales and boy WERE they wonderful. the Charlotte Russe here was everything but giving away clothing items. i racked up with about six items and a pair of shoes for $27. i enjoyed feeling like i was out of prison and active. it was nice being a part of the day's bustle. that alone made me feel accomplished in some way. less time to mope about how a certain Mr. hasn't called.

i got home later and he decides to txt me. the gorgeous boy from campus that i'm in an interracial relationship with. *sigh* i jokingly said that i would rape him up the butthole if he continued to be sucky and he half-assed apologized. in fact, he owned up to it and just left the loose ends there for me to contend with! inconsiderate!! well being the empowered womyn that i am, i txted him back something along the lines of "you may be sucky, but i'll survive. it's wonderful, donthca think?"

i am just now getting some idle time to sit in front of the monitor... oh! who am i kidding! i've been YouTubing and doing other trivial stuff all day that i've been here! i'm just now making time to actually blog. i just drove a little bit out of the city to drop my kid brother off at the movie theatre with his ungrateful girlfriend with fake hair. barely escaped wrecking several times, only after i finally figured out where i was going. this being my home state and home city clearly has done nothing for my sense of direction here.

Sweeney Todd Review

haha. here's something light (and i don't mean scarily religious, either). i present to you my oh-so-credible review of Sweeney Todd. excuse the insane tense and person perspective changes!
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i'll begin by admitting my adoration of Tim Burton/Depp collaboration. double points for danny elfman involvement!!! so naturally, i loved it. the film has a promising director and the goosebumps were iminent as the opening credits rolled with gory accents. woah! a slightly more intense/dark element compared to burton's other works!

concerning the plot, expect something along the lines of the corpse bride. instead of a theme of society and alienation that can be found in Edward Scissorhands and even Oyster Boy, this plot is mainly driven by a man's love for a woman and revenge for another's wrongdoing. imagine lots of blood and lots of emotions from a variety of characters who each have their own story to tell (or song to sing).

and, oh! the singing. the damned singing... how weird is it that we get to hear Mr. Depp sing?.. and growl and yell at the same time as his character lended. as this movie is a bit of a musical one, there is a song every 45 econds, no lie. it gets a bit annoying and predictable. the theatre will collectively hold its breath and grimace as another unnecessary and horrible song comes out of Helen Carter's mouth.

Todd has its flaws and the ending has to be one of the biggest ones. when a character dies abrubptly, the ending credits begin rolling just as abrubptly with several loose ends to the plot suspended in midair. upsetting. the entire climax of the movie is followed by a flood of blood and a bunch of disappointed faces in the audience.

the verdict? drumroll, please...

CHERRY LOVES JOHNNY DEPP!!!! that is all. nothing else much matters. DUH!

Christmas crisis

i am SO strong right now. i swear that i am. i'm talking artemis and her silver bow strong here. i don't need a stupid little boy to call me. i'm used to being alone and sometimes it's what suits me best. i love myself way more than anyone else on this earth can so pleasing myself comes first. you wanna treat me bad? fine, get out of my life so i can use that space to do something productive and worth my time.

if only i believed all of that shit a little bit more right now. i'm on gURL.com playing with the cybersweetie generator, i'm watching Forest Gump saying how much of a REAL MAN tom hanks is and how much i want to marry someone like that. i'm eating slightly emotionally. i daydream about marriage all day and masturbate in the shower (not that i didn't do this religiously anyway).

i'm so young; why am i having a crisis on Christmas? i'm going to go shower.
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"Lord Thou pluckest burning."

i refuse to go lesbian (today).

it's ironic that one can always count on others to have an opinion or to disagree with something that another is contending with. it's slightly less common for me to actually take the advice, which is why i'm shocked at myself right now.

no doubt, i'm stuck, romantically speaking. me and men don't have the greatest of affairs. hmm, my father is a man. lets see: he was an atrocious parent and husband. i should hardly forgive him. i have a very negative view of all men, including other family members. no guy that i encounter is ever good enough... BS. i'm a hop, skip, and jump away from lesbianism.

perhaps i have some deep lying damage that thwarts all of my interaction with males? maybe i just have no luck.

you know,

i usually like to start blogging with a blasphemy, or by stating how i've managed to bed two guys in the same night, or how i've lifted some killer makeup from WalMart. oh well. i'm posting to say that not only am i nice and unscrewed, but i'm fasting, as well.

yeah, i know that i don't even read the Bible enough to understand the reasoning behind such a move, but i promise that i've thought it all through and am at a sincere dedication at this moment in Time. instead of uselessly crying all of the time (because everybody does indeed hurt, REM; slap it on in refrain).i can actually be a little proactive and productive in my sadness. it's an escape, at least. if i focus all of my thoughts and intentions on a different plane, a religious one where the mundane stuff fails to have affect, then i am free from the pain that i felt yesterday and i even get to honor God in the process!

i only have one God and i refuse to serve anything else on this earth with all of my heart, which frankly means fuck L. and even N. if i refuse to take food in my mouth, i'm humbling myself and demonstrating how detached i am willing to be from the world to have peace from God.

isn't it beautiful?
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"Lord Thou pluckest burning."

damn.
needless to say--i'm not much feeling the Christmas spirit, or at least not like i should be. the little apartment that my mommy finally could afford was burned down due to faulty wiring, so: Ho Ho Ho!
so now, we're very much homeless and miserable. i'm retardedly lonely because i'm not making out with a certain, pale younger guy. mmmm.
my down-there region is all patchy from a failed at home wax attempt. i really need another weave. it was so cute: the New One was running his fingers through my hair and came across a track. he was all like "there's something in your hair..." he even sounded concerned. CUTE!!! i didn't think that i could get this happy so soon.

hiatus.

i just wanna sing a song about the crazy waxing moon-eyed boy. i really miss those pretty green eyes and soft pink lips. i just wanna stay on my little cloud pulling his hair and having sex with him until something screws it up.

merry christmas, happy holidays. happy new year.