An Old Me.

clinical depression, an interracial engagement, feminism, general weirdness, and staying fabulous, or at the very least, functional, in this world. part manifesto / commentary, part social coping project to generate inspiration and positivity!

Jan 31, 2009

tag!

all of you bitches who tagged me better effing read this or i will come visit you and make you eat something that i cooked.
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1.Each blogger must post these rules first.
2.Each blogger starts with 8 random facts/habits about themselves.
3.Blogger that are tagged need to write on their own blog about their 8 things.
4.At the end of your blog,you need to choose 8 people to get tagged and list their names.
5.Don't forget to leave them a comment, telling them that they've been tagged and to read your blog.
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1) i start to sneeze when i get really aroused. honestly. weird, i know. if my door is locked and you hear me sneezing, just come back in 15 minutes because i'm more than likely busy.
2) my mom is sick and it breaks my heart that someone so good has to suffer. it makes me feel helpless and scared for myself. and then she calls me and jokes about me being a clueless skank and it's all better.
3) i have two cigarette burns: one on either hand.
4) i'm such a tense person that my shoulders are frozen in an "up" position. i have to pause and make myself relax them.
5) i don't think that i've ever been this happy [which is way sad in itself], but it pisses me off because i don't want it to be due to some man, no matter how wonderful he is.
6) i like cats more than most people. yes, even you.
7) i'm actually so smart that i have no common sense. i have no idea what directions are. i put my shoes on the wrong feet. i can't cook without giving someone food poisoning. i can't even remember to eat enough times a day to not feel faint and awful.
8) when i consider my past, i smile SO BIG. i get sad sometimes, but my life isn't sad, as in pathetic and hilarious! and i've just concluded: i don't have lots of friends because cheap folks don't flock to me to make their own lives feel more substantial. they can't because it doesn't work; i actually deserve respect. "friendship" is often synonymous to one person [the one who believes in the friendship] being a fool.

i'm not a dummy like that! i just don't know where i'm going when i get in my car!
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and i'm not tagging folks because some of you already have been tagged multiple times like myself. let's just simplify it: whoever hasn't had a turn, it's your turn now. tag! you're it, bitch!

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Jan 27, 2009

musics!





look at my boy man! this is him on the fiddle, or violin, or whatever you decide to call it. you should hear him play blues bass guitar or sing!.. swoon. he's my celebrity. established and NOT high. oh and the shit actually sounds good. [that was an immature low blow, but i'm done now. sorry, i can't help it. i don't feel good; my stomach is sick.] and commenting is turned off because i'm just bragging about being the luckiest girl! i apologize. i'll find something substantial to post with when i'm not about to leave for my study group.

ciao!

edited later this day @ 7:43 PM

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Jan 21, 2009

be the change, now change your sheets!

how exciting was yesterday?! even if we all can't agree on politics [which i love], you have to agree that the President's speech just gave you little butterflies of [i can't find a better word] Hope all in your belly, if you cared to listen to it. it was relieving and gave me good feelings all day. not to mention, i imagined how hungover my boyfriend was in D.C. that day, which made me laugh. what did yesterday do to you? i've already read some posts, but surely there's more. did you cry? did you care? did you drink too much and walk around in D.C. hungover before your performance like someone's man?

i have a cold. don't ask me how i went from recovering from my fever to catching a cold. my roomie just had a fever, so now i'm dousing the apartment in Lysol. i fell asleep one night with my vibrator running and woke up--and it still was on! i could have burned my clitoris off! what would my doctor have said?

and this is funny. absolutely funny:
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Heavily Tripping

Andy tripped along rapturously. He was on his way to meet his lover, Cherry, for Valentine's Day. He smiled to see a clown hopping along, carrying a box of wine in its mouth.

Andy was almost by the balls when he came across a horny cake, lying alone on a soap-scented plate. "That must be a treat from my peppery bear," he said to himself, and tripped over to it. The cake looked chunky, so he ate it.

It gave him the most with abandon tingling sensation in his ass. "How unusual!" he said and continued tripping to see Cherry.
When Cherry came out to meet him, she took one look and fell over.
"What is it?" Andy cried covertly.
"Your collar bone! And your inside of the elbow!" Cherry said. "They're intense! Can't you feel it?"
Andy felt his collar bone and his inside of the elbow. They were indeed quite intense. "Oh, no!" Andy said. "I'm a woman!" He, or rather, she started to cry. "It must have been that horny cake you left for me. Did you know what it would do?"
"I didn't leave you any cake," Cherry said. "I got you a coffee mug. It must have been that vagina-oriented man who lives nearby. He acts a little morbidly, ever since he pat a hair pin."
"But how can you ever love me, now that I'm a woman?" Andy sobbed.
"Well, I never knew how to tell you this," Cherry said speedily, "but I actually prefer women. And I think your collar bone is really luminous like that."
"Really?" Andy dried her tears. Andy kissed Cherry and it was an entirely green sensation, like rats in a cornfield.

They spent the night having entirely green sex, until the cake wore off suddenly.
Everything was rather awkward after that.

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and before you ask: NO, i'm not any crazier than usual. i went here to create this drabble! it's fun!

and pictures! The Slut Hut! or my apartment. still decorating and organizing.

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Jan 17, 2009

i'm better and back, bitches!

my fever burning behind the eyes is gone. it was replaced by a cold last night. but i took what i'm almost certain was a sinus pill, and i'm A-OK today. i'm loving my new place. i feel all snooty and grown-up. it's a gated apartment complex and i have a fancy parking decal and a mailbox! i've got an address! part of the city now, and not just the school! me and T [my only roomie and also my besite which is very convenient] have decorated really cutely and trashed the place each weekend for "hanging out" with our friends who don't have a place suitable for entertaining like ours. there's a growing little chain of liquor bottles at the top of our cabinets like a trophy case. we have a Netflix subscription and have been watching season-after-season of SATC. i baked a cake in our new full kitchen with new appliances and marble counters. it's edible; i tried it!

school is back in full swing and all of my classes are depressing. my economics professor ends each class with a note about melting glaciers in 40 years. it makes me not want to have children and commit suicide before things get worse.

my man left for the Inauguration this morning. i'm proud of him and his school's orchestra: they get to play for the Chief Executive! here's a little note he left me this morning:
I am getting more excited about our trip the closer it gets. We got an unexpected check from the Alumni Association for our concert this morning. We will get to use the money for spending cash. I will now be able to afford to go to the official inaugural ball. We sounded great at rehearsal tonight. I am super excited. I may not have access to the internet while I'm up there. I will call you. I am looking forward to valentine's day. We will have to come up with a plan for something to do. I miss you and love you. I will call you when I get into the hotel tomorrow night. and I was joking about the cake. I'm proud of you. I'm sure it was amazing or at least edible.
aww, right?

and here's more positiveness when i really appreciate it these days:
  • a clean apartment
  • my new vibrator
  • my man telling me that he feels like i'm the woman that he's supposed to be with!
  • cheap, cute clothes to make me feel pretty
  • my real hair which is way down my back now thanks to the weaving
  • coffee that i made myself and the feeling of that five dollars still in my pockets
  • Radiohead
  • vintage hairdos that do not go out of style
  • Hope. Change. Woman Love & Activism (yes, i'm a BIG one of those F-words!!!)
ciao!

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Jan 9, 2009

resettling with a fever.

it's about time for another photo and i like this one alot!


i'm not dead: i've just been busy with moving into my new place off campus and restarting school. and i have a fever, so i feel like my head is in a hot fog. i'll be around to comment and to spray disinfectant until things settle down a bit more!

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