the end and i feel fine [because it's BS]

i'm not allowing you to comment because i'm not around to comment lately. studying is taking over my life, although i made some time to get my hair untangled and clean. i'm at our Science majors' library waiting on my sexy Libran girlfriend to get here. isn't she adorable? i blame it all on her new lip piercing--and she pretty much bums me all of the Camels i want [most of the time]. gotta love Finals.
okay, i'm not dating her. Andy is still my only one. she's just one of the few women who aren't sickening to be around. gotta be because we're both of Venus. her middle name is my first name. she likes the same sorority i do. our birthdays are days apart. we love the same cigs [when we haven't quit]. she gets on my damned nerves.

and if anyone is scared about 2012, get over it: you will see the day ofter Doomsday. The Rapture won't happen because too many people are expecting it. the planet will stay in orbit. it has done so on every 12/21 since the beginning of Time. it has been made certain to me that this day will be nothing to worry about, but it will be weird!

i was pretty antsy about this at one time--i was one of those people in my teens scared off of my ass on the 2000 new year. i was expecting Jesus to break through the ceiling and take me away from the MTV countdown. it hasn't happened yet. it hasn't happened during any of the hundreds of other Doomsday prophecies. it won't happen 12/21/2012 [unless Palin is elected say some funny people].

lighten up. wish me luck on my exams. listen to old Sugar Ray singles. paint your toenails. paint my toenails. pay for prescription of BC. get ready for summer!

thanks!

i'm back and i DO feel so much better! thanks for all of the encouragement! i needed it badly and soon i'll get back to being so overly optimistic [is there a such thing?] that i'll have to encourage each of my readers everyday. how does that sound?

my break was fab. ate a helluva lot. i needed to desperately because all of my jeans are falling off of my booty. gotta ask Santa for some tush for Xmas. not even a dog wants just a bone!

stayed home an extra day. successfully lied to my parents about it, although they wouldn't have really cared. Andy's father saw us sneaking out of the house early this morning when he had no previous idea that i had even spent the night. oops. i'm positive that his parents are aware of the nature of our relationship, but who wants to acknowledge the evidences until a ring is involved? now Andy has to deal with the coming confrontation while i'm back in my apartment conditioning my hair! hee hee! poor Baby of mine! it's like high school again..

anyway, i'm crying at wedding photos and craving grilled chicken salad. i need to finish off my fuzzy head before a meeting tonight. i might be going Greek! how about that!

btw, isn't Tori Amos a goddess?

be brilliant and beautiful! ciao.

lovie-day weekend.

did YOU have an awesome weekend?

sorry for not commenting and hanging out like usual. i've been busy spending time with an amazing man and my family. i've been learning to bake, giving gifts, and talking on the phone. when i get back to Campus Town tomorrow, i'll be swamped with studying for the first part of the week [this is becoming regular and increasingly NOT FUN], so i'll ttyl!

cherry.

lovely milestones.

i don't feel like typing in an exaggerated and ornamented diction. i'm not putting on a show here; there's no need to.

i'm in a lovey dovey mood. i love this approaching, fluffy holiday designed to empty our pockets and brains. i've done both with a zombie grin on my face. me and andy have become the couple that folks vomit at, complete with love poems to each other and "i love you!" messages on FBook everyday. yuck!

Most Importantly I Love You

Like the Sun watches over and warms the earth, I love you
Like a flower grows it's whole life toward that sunlight, i love you
Like bees swarm to that beautiful flower, I love you
Like the bear climbs only to fight his way through an army of angry, buzzing, stinging bees for but a taste of that sweet life changing honey, I love you.

yeah. this one was a public one from him; hope he doesn't mind. i respect the privacy of those sweet, little drabbles reserved to my inbox--and there are many.

today, told one of my buddies who happens to frown on a few of the losers from my past more than i do to stop updating me about their sad, hypocritical "progress" [they must be making some now]. i told her to support the fact that i have a while ago given up actually caring and will chalk up any nonsense to... well, nonsense. my friend has been known to tell me: but, cherry! they're splicing desperation into "love!" she's wanted to be you and she admitted to emulating you! look how sad and funny things have turned out! there's no need for her to alert me of any updates, stay their friend online just to nose around, etc. those folks can do whatever moves them. it's what i do! i mean, hey--it's obvious that everything has worked out to my benefit. there's no need to parade it around. a satisfied giggle under my breath every now and then will more-than suffice. haha.. and those links are to articles @ galadarling.com, btw--i luff her! i'm currently reading one on how to make my desk more inspiring.

i'm going home on Thursday to spend time with some valuable folks and give them gifts this weekend. my Innamortato has made plans for us to play Monopoly during our Valentine's night and i really hope that he is kidding. seriously though: we're going to see the new Friday the 13th movie [i'd prefer Coraline] and have some dinner plans among other stuff, and a thimble better have nothing to do with it! unless...
i washed my hair with Sensual aromatherapy shampoo, my diet and working out is making me look sexy, sexy. i spent $25 on eight chic clothing items at the thrift store. two of my guy friends washed my car for the first time that it's been with me.i'm getting good at beer pong chess. my grades are superb: my orgo chem professor called me an overachiever.

rambling, i realize that one doesn't need a person to be in love with this time of year [other than their own, fabulous self that is!] there are surely plenty of things in each person's life that they can love--things with value and not just a price, or a penis.

thx, here.

i'm better and back, bitches!

my fever burning behind the eyes is gone. it was replaced by a cold last night. but i took what i'm almost certain was a sinus pill, and i'm A-OK today. i'm loving my new place. i feel all snooty and grown-up. it's a gated apartment complex and i have a fancy parking decal and a mailbox! i've got an address! part of the city now, and not just the school! me and T [my only roomie and also my besite which is very convenient] have decorated really cutely and trashed the place each weekend for "hanging out" with our friends who don't have a place suitable for entertaining like ours. there's a growing little chain of liquor bottles at the top of our cabinets like a trophy case. we have a Netflix subscription and have been watching season-after-season of SATC. i baked a cake in our new full kitchen with new appliances and marble counters. it's edible; i tried it!

school is back in full swing and all of my classes are depressing. my economics professor ends each class with a note about melting glaciers in 40 years. it makes me not want to have children and commit suicide before things get worse.

my man left for the Inauguration this morning. i'm proud of him and his school's orchestra: they get to play for the Chief Executive! here's a little note he left me this morning:

I am getting more excited about our trip the closer it gets. We got an unexpected check from the Alumni Association for our concert this morning. We will get to use the money for spending cash. I will now be able to afford to go to the official inaugural ball. We sounded great at rehearsal tonight. I am super excited. I may not have access to the internet while I'm up there. I will call you. I am looking forward to valentine's day. We will have to come up with a plan for something to do. I miss you and love you. I will call you when I get into the hotel tomorrow night. and I was joking about the cake. I'm proud of you. I'm sure it was amazing or at least edible.

aww, right?

and here's more positiveness when i really appreciate it these days:

• a clean apartment
• my new vibrator
• my man telling me that he feels like i'm the woman that he's supposed to be with!
• cheap, cute clothes to make me feel pretty
• my real hair which is way down my back now thanks to the weaving
• coffee that i made myself and the feeling of that five dollars still in my pockets
• Radiohead
• vintage hairdos that do not go out of style
• Hope. Change. Woman Love & Activism (yes, i'm a BIG one of those F-words!!!)

ciao!

resettling with a fever.

it's about time for another photo and i like this one alot!


i'm not dead: i've just been busy with moving into my new place off campus and restarting school. and i have a fever, so i feel like my head is in a hot fog. i'll be around to comment and to spray disinfectant until things settle down a bit more!

what my vagina has to do with Xmas.

i. hate. finals. week.

happy stuff please:

well, for those who have not seen the Twitter update, i now have the boy [and a parking ticket]. we said it on Facebook, so it's SO serious, ha. he's really old-school charming and blah blah blah. we're supposedly going camping for vacation among other things and he reassured me of my safety from bears, hobo homicidal maniacs, AND Godzilla. i'm not used to all of his appropriateness [i'm waiting to figure out what's wrong with him]. but apparently, not treating a lady like a lady is just not his style, and i honestly can't ask for anything more right now. i canNOT wait until he can bend me over the table to teach me how to play pool. seriously. i suck at pool and there's no other way to lean. well, lucky me!

i got the apartment off campus that i wanted. my only roommate is my best girlfriend [score! i wouldn't have any other way]. it's a big, luxury 2 bed and 2 bath with washing/drying units inside. so i finally have the new, big girl place that i've been wanting. now who's going to move all of me and T's furniture all the way there? i'm going to take pics of our moving day. is there a such thing as too much pink stuff and red velvet when it comes to decorating? and everyone is invited to the house warming celebration: bring wine because we can never have enough!

here is my Xmas list:

• Ville Valo on toast
• my boyfriend [woah it's been a while since i could type that] on toast
• more than 24 hours in my days so more things can get done
• some specific civil rights  and due social respect for women
• a filled prescription for my antidepressants and birth control, woo!
• the new Prince of Persia game for PS3 and Mortal Kombat vs DC Universe
• an OhMiBod musical vibrator sex toy; feel the music seriously!
• new mineral makeup and some thrift store clothes
• Denis Leary
• to be around my family and enjoy loving those crazy fuckers

a lot of my list is vagina-related this year. hmm..

frenching and flirting.

"thanks" to all of you lovelies who actually read all of my absent rambles and entertain me with your compliments. know that you are responsible for making me smile from day to day! i'm leaving for home tomorrow with my mom and dad and i might not get around to being near a computer as often as i would like to [or i might. who knows?]. but don't you worry, i'll return full force after this short break.

and now for some blogging:

French Week was celebrated recently on my campus and i had a blast. a bunch of high school Francophiles Frenchers came to visit and to participate in our activities. i baked cupcakes [French Vanilla, oh la la] for fundraising and apparently the things were good; they sold out in two hours. yay! no one got food poisoning. that definitely would not be chic.

there was a French dinner at a swank restaurant just out of town and the whole French Club went. a very nice boy drove me and sat next to me.  he was very polite and tall ;)   the whole affair was nice. the president of the club complimented my dress. the food was exotic and delicious. the company was delightful because everyone was full of wine and fried cheese.  here are a few photos. there are a cute crimson shirt that says "Kiss me. I speak French," vanity shots of myself, and pretty displays of the meal. 

ciao! i'll be back soon for a possible Twilight review and to describe how i'm absolutely sure that my Literature professor now knows that i'm in love with him. i didn't giggle and blush at him about a subject completely tangent to the course material, at all.

Happy Thanksgiving! 

i'm off for home where some amazing folks are!

i want to slit my wrists!

nah, i'm being dramatic. i'm actually okay-- just a little tired and starving. i'm back after a week full of lose: i've been literally studying biology more often than sleeping, which takes a lot of effort for someone wh:o is as fatigue-prone as i am. "of course i'm good in bed; i can sleep for days!" haha.. but seriously, my chemistry professor is Satan. he went into a crazy tirade around the lecture hall pointing to random objects and associating them with obscure material: "This is made of blah blah blah! And this is made of something else that you can't even pronounce! Exam on Tuesday!"

i'm getting sick, but i wear so much makeup that it's undetectable until i sneeze three times in a row. i'm on a diet and my tummy looks nice. i've got some resistance bands hanging over the door just waiting to be used in my pilates routine. there's actually motivation to use them now that i've been over to visit Blair's blog. 

nothing terribly exciting is going on. i'm pumped about getting a place soon with one of my besties, T. it will be the two of us and then another girl. heh--hope it doesn't turn into an Audrina v. LC and Lo situation. yeah, i watched The Hills. so?..  :)

*sneeze*

oh, red lipstick mimics confidence apparently. i've been wearing it and a [beautiful Clark Kent-looking] guy that i haven't talked to in a while was mesmerized by my mouth. he's very conservative and doesn't do much flirting,  so i personally pulled a few tricks just for practice. later online, he told me that he really liked my perfume. how's that for not flirting? exciting! 

Twilight is tomorrow! i want to see it!

babe, you can't capture this.

nah, babe don't try. not even with a camera.

my H'ween pwned all. there was a guy dressed as what i thought was a car crash victim, but he was indeed the Stock Market. there were plenty of political figures [one Obama had devil horns] and Ledger!Jokers as predictable. campus was crazy. just imagine hundreds of freakily-dressed young adults coming out the library, grabbing food from the cafe, waving bye to their professors with Jason masks on.

i froze my booty off. my pirate costume was an experiment to discover how naked i could get without getting pneumonia in my butthole. it worked and i'm alive to blog about it. i thought it was cute and so did several other people [guys and girls]. you can only get away with this stuff one night out of the year, folks, and i'm a professional. careful, it burns to the touch.

the parties were especially enjoyable. it resembled intense raving because this is not only Halloween weekend but Homecoming weekend as well. i don't even remember what bands were playing because they all had on masks and wigs.. one guy dressed as a crackhead tried to get me to sniff his powdery-coated hand when i asked for a beer. it was suspicious, but turns out it was just Altoids. you can't blame my apprehensiveness;  i can't afford a roofie accident before my Organic test! 

i got pictures with some slick-dressed special ones. i will link the photo albumn. i can't remember who all i kissed. i took some drags off of some poor girl's cigarette. when i forgot that it belonged to her and not me and started to walk away, she ran after me in her soldier's costume and asked for it back. that's a smoker for you. they'll hunt you down to puff at the filter.

quotes of the night:

"yeah, she danced with him and i stood there awkwardly with Hilary Clinton."

"aww, we should have taken more pictures with that crackhead!"

"hey let's take a picture! can you strangle me a little bit?!"

and what was your night like? please please please link any albumns, photos that you have. have any crazy stories for me? a secret?  watch any lovely movies that i should see? kiss a cute boy or girl? i seriously want to know because H'ween is my favorite holiday and autumn is my favorite time of year. make my day.

this is my insanity from this time of year: 

Let's do the Time Warp Again!

ciao, mes chers.

---------------------------

and i'm making this a two-fold post, darlings. this is the selfish MemeMeme part. i just have to say that i am in love with myself; this is the romance of my lifetime. and i'm lucky that other people in my life can love me, as well. i don't have to pretend to be someone else for any reason and no one else can be quite exactly me [not that they should want that anyway]. i don't have any babies [headaches /possible heartaches / stretch marks] to split my time and expenses on. i don't have the insecurity that i used to have, and i don't spend all of my time talking about other people who shouldn't be important to me anymore now that i'm a big girl who should have an established life elsewhere and independent of immature bullshit. i've really grown up. there is no reason why this lady needs to obsess and to be possessed by a bunch of shtuff in her past when life is pulling her a new direction! anything less would just be sad. i just pulled an A on my Cell Bio exam. my professor shook my hand at our meeting and can write a recommendation for me. my family is strong and behind me 100 percent. they would never leave alone, abandon me just because i'm an adult, or kick me out of the house. i have other worthy people in my corner, Team Cherry, who can support me at my bad times. i have God [yeah, i said it]. i have denis leary to masturbate over tonight! i'm such a favored girly these days! 

and this isn't even an ounce sarcastic! i haven't seen this clearly in a while and i'll tell you that it has to do a lot with spirituality and God, if you care for such stuff. i feel extra lucky and fabulous. everything that i'm touching is turning into gold and the Hell that tried to hold me back is now my pink feather and lace-adorned footstool. 

-----------------------------

H'ween!

yaaaay! the day is upon us. i remember River Pheonix [RIP]. way before Heath Ledger and after James Dean there was River Pheonix. i feel old, but then again, i AM a proud product of the 80s.

i've already been celebrating. yesterday was the Rocky Horror Picture Show showing at my campus. i wore underwear and combat boots. met a couple of trannies from my home state. can't say their names or post their pictures because they work for the Air Force [one is a cop from back home, the other is a mental health tech] and i don't know if our government wants to be associated with two fellows who look good in drag and who can wear heels better than i can. if you haven't seen the RHPS, please go do it! Dr. F is love! Oh, Rocky..

almost got arrested for looking like a trashy whore. went a bit further and stood on a street corner with my extendable cigarette holder and stuck my thumb out to the oncoming traffic with the trannies. got lots of honks and folks driving around in circles to look at [what they thought were] three ladies. if a cop had stopped us, i would have laughed my petite booty off because one of us was a cop. how weird would that have been?! "uh, yes, officer. i'm a state trooper for the next state over, actually.. so..."

i've got to get together a new costume for tonight. i've got to wake up. and i've put together the pieces of the puzzle. i was very literally drooling at the thought of beaucoup men over the past few weeks not because i am a boy-crazy, superficial dumb girl, but because i was ovulating! nice! so i don't feel bad about admitting to my wet dream starring denis leary. mm, mm, mmm. i love big ole tall lanky men.

a very pretty girl bummed me a cigarette at my job. i've been losing weight like crazy; i can't even fill out the back of my pants! that's kinda no good. i only have one class today and then the games begin. tomorrow is Homecoming. i have so many pictures to upload.

Have a Happy Halloween! Be careful! Don't overdose on prescriptions! Don't get arrested! Upload your pictures and share your night with me!

freaking out!

these are the days that make me question why i want to be a smarty-pants. sorry for not blogging, commenting, hanging out in cyberspace as usual. but my research based cell bio class is a pain in the ass and in the head. i'll get back to normal after this exam in the morning (and i have lots to blog about). 'till then, im here in the library with a buddy holding my head and eating a textbook or two. wish me luck! wish me no sleep!

things that i have yelled at.

oh, bugger it. this fabulous femme can't keep her cool air all of the time.

Things That I have Yelled at Today [both mentally and quite literally]

8:13 A - upon oversleeping the alarm and looking at my phone. "Fuck! I have orientation at nine!"

10 A - while i look my supervisors in the face with a fake smile and lots of makeup plastered on. When is the soonest I can shower! I need food! My coffee is fucking cold and I'm bloated to Hell!

11:30 A - on the way to class. I speak French; kiss me while I kill my professor today! I'm tired!

12:30 P - leaving class and booking it back to my apartment. "Come the fuck on, you car! I need to get home!"

1:30 P - Fuck world lit.. I can't even read Latin!

3:45 P - in class with the hottest professor ever. I'm starving and I really want to get the hell out of here--right after I look at his butt again!

4:10 P - "Fuck you, Chrome! Why is everything crashing! That's bullshit! I want Facebook now!"

6 P [currently] - I need to calm the fuck down and relax!

---------------------------------------------------

PMS, the heat, bad attitude, immaturity, or what? be careful, or i'll yell at you, too! ♥

i feel old and wear my trousers rolled.

[Photo Credit] me and my camera phone! that's a lotta beer bong. and gotta love the guy in the cape.

a buddy  of mine whom i haven't seen in months told me something today that made me sad, but i just responded to him with one of my bright smiles and graceful nods. it was fake, of course; thanks, cheerleading! i was sitting in the café with my Italian sandwich and Chuck Palahniuk book and he greeted me all warmly. we started talking about the past and i hinted at my upcoming birthday. so, the guy told me that i'm getting old.

duh, duh, dunnnn!...

yeah. thanks, buddy. i'm turning the big 2-0 soon and it's scary for me, alright? there are physical age and psychological age to contend with; they are two separate beasts. don't joke about either, or i'll stab you in the neck with this fork! i don't feel like growing up. i don't feel like an adult. i don't want to get old when i'm not ready to do so! i understand now when women stay "23" for five years at a time. hell, my grandmother has been "40" since i was born.

so in elucidation of the twenty-something adult life, i'm going to just wax on where my life is now that i'm soon to be saying adieu to my teenage days.

this "adult" loves being lazy when she can afford to. she still giggles when she can skip an unimportant class meeting and it feels like hooky in high school. she likes hanging out over her friends' apartment and playing video games until it gets dark. she likes hanging over their balcony when all 15 of them go outside with their cigarettes and trash talk political figures, school administration, and your mom. she looks forward to the weekends: dressing up in black dresses, having drinks , and listening to the cover band perform some David Bowie or Guns n Roses. she likes getting off of work from Hooters and blowing her tips on rounds of cranberry and vodka.

she can easily pull on a pair of slacks and a chemise for class discussions, meetings, and debates. she can pull her hair back and wear subdued makeup as she takes notes on Organic Chemistry. she concentrates like nobody's business when she draws a molecule and shows its hybridization at different carbon atoms, and as she sits in any one of her professor's offices and nods and promptly proposes to them plans for her thesis, etc. she can keep contact with the president of her future medical school and return his emails. she can speak French and plan her abroad trip to l'Auvergne maybe. she can keep herself busy in planning her career and getting her adult life off of the ground [because, baby it's happening quickly]. 

but sometimes she still likes watching IuYasha on the weekends with a box of pizza while listening to some old Blink 182. speaking of which!:

"That's about the time she broke up with me
No one should take themselves so seriously
With many years ahead to fall in line
Why would you wish that on me?
I never want to act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

What's my age again?"--Blink 182 "What's My Age Again"

i love those guys! and they hit the nail right on the head! here's a tribute of sorts to me growing up and to whatever fabulous world awaits me now. i'm excited and scared, but i know that i can welcome the new life gracefully. even when i'm the cosmopolitan and gorgeous francophile Surgeon Burton [hee, hee--not my current last name if you know what i mean], there will ALWAYS be the time for some InuYasha, damnit!

comfortable here.

i'm so... COMFY now; comfy to the point of unfamiliarity here in my depeche mode, "hurry up and get into the university groove again" phase. and i know, it's a weird statement, and an even weirder place to be, trust me. it's indeed a challenge to wrap my mind around, to conceptualize. i've got an inkling of an idea of what i mean, so it transcends idea into a place of being. it exists; it's fact. i just can't make it materialize into coherence! a challenge that i'm going to run with just now.

i have all of my text books, which may not register as an issue to persons not in university. i'll explain. i'm taking some real "big girl" courses and there is absolutely NO public funding for me to pay $150 [at least] per medical text, per lab manual, per PDR, per whatever! and thank goodness i haven't gone through any REAL struggle when it came to going about paying several hundreds of dollars for these big scary books. hell, some students have to get jobs. i've been prettily sitting on my ass and being a good person because i'm blessed enough to not have to struggle for my education! yay for that! and now that i have all of this heavy study material [and am so glad about it], i have absolutely no choice but to "hit the books" and study my grateful ass of for my exams and such. i've got materials AND motivation.

i should really take the camera tomorrow and do a photo tour of my life. shots of my apartment, spots around the campus, my hangouts in the town, etc. it's so great: domestically, my life is well situated and well decorated. the apartment is so cute and full of exactly what i need. socially, my life is in similar form. there is an almost visible radius of youthful fabulousness wafting around in my daily life. i'm actually becoming friends with more and more ladies. gee, it's nice to be around people who aren't [too] crazy and have some sort of grip on their lives! ladies who can fill their time with all of the crazy fun i adore while we all keep an adult hold on the situation. Upscale bars and ska shows, anyone? and the gentlemen are great. i've got the set of chill fellows i hang out with for the movie theatre and for dinner, and a lot more still who would make such a good son-in-law for my momma. and don't even get me started on the guy who looks like Heath Ledger from the 10 Things movie!.. but i'm still single right now. yep yep yep. maybe not for much longer; it's all up to me. but, enough of that; only boring girls can only spend their time talking about boys!

but back to me being comfy. i'm just SO content.. i'm not wanting anything. no materials, no people--i'm just great. and i'm not saying that i'm a minimalist. i need way more than two glasses in my cabinet, thankyouverymuch. i'm not a fan of living like a bum only very recently removed from his cardboard box into a real property. it's just that i am in possession ALL of my necessities and then even more great stuff! woo! i'm so content, i repeat. all of my and my family's hard work is paying off--and not just for me. the folks back home are prospering, too. [:D]

i have seriously just dedicated a post to waxing [squeeing] about how great my life is right now. sorry.

nah, not really!

i have an ego, but still no cash.

i'm envisioning some wavy hair extensions. i'm not talking about a full head of sewn-in tracks here, like i sported on campus the whole time last academic year. i'm more interested in exposing my real hair, which is really long now due to the extreme weaving, and i just wanna enhance the back with some texture that i don't have to manage with a curling iron everday. i'm talking a pack of eight-dollar plastic hair and maybe two tracks worth of enhancing. i just don't wanna disappoint a certain someone who is used to seeing me in a full wig in pictures. damnit me for the glitter-glam keep up!

i've just re-discovered how much my ego eats it up when someone calls me "dollface." men and women alike have called me this before and i swear that it's like a new orgasm every time it passes someone's lips to my ears.

in other news, i'm broke-as-fuck, but i still have this annoying desire to go accessories shopping. i want a new oversize bag that can do for books and whatever college life throws at me. cool prints and sophisticated style are a plus. nothing expensive in mind. actually Wal-Mart has been good about furnishing my tastes and leaving a purpose for my wallet. there are these adorable little scarf head bands there...

i made a pink little link button. it's in the menu to the left under "TPPP" heading, appropriately. take it and plug me if you love me or hate me. just don't direct link and be aware that i have occasionally changed domain names in the past. "cherry" has been a presence on the web since before Movable Type was news, so she's not going anywhere too far for a long time and you love it. wonder if i should give kareah a heads up? she's prolly already had a look here. i can almost guarantee it, actually. it would just make sense to do a link exchange with her. or anyone. i'm looking to build my blogroll! any interested folks lemme know!

sigh, i'll be back to mis-managing my life on my own out-of-state soon. but hopefully, i'll have a special friend who makes passing time a little more interesting, if not pleasant like junior high crushes and rolling around in the carpet with older boys wearing spicy cologne. pleasant like teaching yourself how to smoke for the one night when you're so drunk that you absolutely NEED about three cigarettes to tilt your mind into a levelness. pleasant like losing your virginity and no one dying from it.

i promise that i had a purpose before i started typing. i just promise. but it evades me now for some reason.

oh, that's it.

but i'm not gonna combine something completely abstract and spiritual with random references to orgasms and trendy, oversize bags. i hope i don't forget to post about that because spiritually profound moments have been happening with a frequency very recently. i can't recall this from any other time.

"larry" txted my phone, or at least someone who had his phone at the moment txted me with "How u been?" when i tried to call back, though, i got some suspicious and lame-ass sounding excuse / lie about the phone being wet and that a txt would be the only way to communicate. i was disgusted by this point and had even forgot what i was going to say, so i very lamely told "larry" to go on with his life like i was doing and that i don't know why his number wasn't blocked from contacting me. whatever, dudes. it is written.

i know that this is the third reference to my hair in a few posts, but i'm going to take some vanity shots of myself with my new do when it's completed for entertainment purposes. haha, and hopefully some silly shots of around-campus lounging are coming more-than-likely while classes aren't difficult to the point of tears. "i don't wanna grow up," says the girl who is already quickly passing the acquired medical knowledge of her mother and aunt combined who are nurses in her home state. i'm still a kid, but i'll be wearing scrubs soon. i'm a child, but i know how to do a bacterial transformation and anatomical jargon is second nature to me.

anyways. i've updated my fiction blog and transferred it all to a more secure server. it's coming nicely. i surprise myself when i review what comes out of my mind at any time. it's all so personal and i can even make it art. i can even make it beautiful.

being black, chic, and a chemistry student.

i'm really hung over from cough suppressant. i just HAD to get to sleep last night before 2AM. my body has been so exhausted and i'll be damned if i let myself fail at my duties because of stuff that doesn't matter.

been having so much enlightened fun surfing some very noteworthy blogs by other black women with fun titles, like Black Girls Rock It! and such. i never claimed to pioneer the whole interracial thing, it's SO refreshing to see other women make sense out of it. i mean, it's 2008 and black guys are still black guys and you won't know the joy of other guys until you try them. yummy, yummy Korean undergrads.

anyways. i haven't let go of my Chemistry book in weeks and it's not fun. my life is definitely not getting any easier, but do you know what IS changing? what's evolving is how i tackle it and i'm so happy to say today that i've been doing it for so long now with success and i haven't been down for too long YET.

i still need to do some document uploading and scanning. i love getting things done--things that i want to get done.

biologie finals!!! ridalin!!! i have Paris Hilton eye! it's becoming increasingly severe with the passing hour. scary, folks--and way hideous. i'll be back home tomorrow in the Great State of Somewhere. buy me a case of beer and i'll make your place my home. let's fall in love.

court, anyone. and not just from this. i'm living a BAD lifetime movie. it's funny, really. a tad scary.

Rescue Me from my pica?

i feel like listening to some old Blink 182--that should reveal my current mood with no problem, right? i don't like being a weird fucker. i don't like being sick. i don't like not making sense in relation to what is healthy..

i'm eating baby powder out of the palm of my hand because i like the texture. i owe it to my mild pica. it's insane. i wish that i could call my mother and whine until she calls me "her baby" and makes kissy noises at me. i wish that my "boyfriend" could grant me some sort of comfort in this mess that i've found myself in. honestly, if he's only adding to my already threatening stress, well, i don't really need to finish that thought.

a certain guy that i have been all BUT running down is giving me the famous cherry treatment: answers a few calls with a genial attitude, smiles and flirts enough to get your hopes slightly elevated while not promising anything, then not following through with your hopes because that never was the intention, at all. not at all.

i may be calling it all wrong, or so i hope, but there you go: i'm calling it.

sick to the stomach of chemicals. tired of the insane partying with people who don't deserve my sacrifices sometimes. got a job that's stressing me out and not a car to get to it and to be independent enough to save myself from things that i would!

realistically however, i've got to balance the bad with good, correct? i mean, i'm a fucking libra and can't even balance a piece of writing!
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i made it through a premiere hearing. it was a little nervous for me, but i'm sure the girl who was defending herself hung her own self, or at least i hope that she did. yay for progress, even if it's slow. who knows what will happen next, but it will probably be in my favor!

also, spring break is in a week for me, which means being home and eating good food!!! OMG. and if i haven't made a different decision by then, there will also be alone time at a certain Mister's apartment and unrestricted nookie for hours and hours until we both walk funny. hope i didn't weird anyone out: i'm an adult and it ain't criminal to enjoy THAT.

i did my own nails and they turned out decent. i finished some last minute assignments pretty much on time or only a few days late. i can make it up. chemistry is getting easier. i have a quiz tomorrow to shine on. i've got a few dollars in my pocket and i've seen some of the third season of Rescue Me over a friend's room! i LOVE getting burned when i play with that fire. what a sexy old man.

alright. i'm gonna study some more and not obsess over what isn't mine and probably should never be. hell, what is mine happens to be sucky as fuck when it comes to priorities. i'll straighten my hair and wear pretty makeup tomorrow to feel better.

ciao.