Rescue Me from my pica?

i feel like listening to some old Blink 182--that should reveal my current mood with no problem, right? i don't like being a weird fucker. i don't like being sick. i don't like not making sense in relation to what is healthy..

i'm eating baby powder out of the palm of my hand because i like the texture. i owe it to my mild pica. it's insane. i wish that i could call my mother and whine until she calls me "her baby" and makes kissy noises at me. i wish that my "boyfriend" could grant me some sort of comfort in this mess that i've found myself in. honestly, if he's only adding to my already threatening stress, well, i don't really need to finish that thought.

a certain guy that i have been all BUT running down is giving me the famous cherry treatment: answers a few calls with a genial attitude, smiles and flirts enough to get your hopes slightly elevated while not promising anything, then not following through with your hopes because that never was the intention, at all. not at all.

i may be calling it all wrong, or so i hope, but there you go: i'm calling it.

sick to the stomach of chemicals. tired of the insane partying with people who don't deserve my sacrifices sometimes. got a job that's stressing me out and not a car to get to it and to be independent enough to save myself from things that i would!

realistically however, i've got to balance the bad with good, correct? i mean, i'm a fucking libra and can't even balance a piece of writing!
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i made it through a premiere hearing. it was a little nervous for me, but i'm sure the girl who was defending herself hung her own self, or at least i hope that she did. yay for progress, even if it's slow. who knows what will happen next, but it will probably be in my favor!

also, spring break is in a week for me, which means being home and eating good food!!! OMG. and if i haven't made a different decision by then, there will also be alone time at a certain Mister's apartment and unrestricted nookie for hours and hours until we both walk funny. hope i didn't weird anyone out: i'm an adult and it ain't criminal to enjoy THAT.

i did my own nails and they turned out decent. i finished some last minute assignments pretty much on time or only a few days late. i can make it up. chemistry is getting easier. i have a quiz tomorrow to shine on. i've got a few dollars in my pocket and i've seen some of the third season of Rescue Me over a friend's room! i LOVE getting burned when i play with that fire. what a sexy old man.

alright. i'm gonna study some more and not obsess over what isn't mine and probably should never be. hell, what is mine happens to be sucky as fuck when it comes to priorities. i'll straighten my hair and wear pretty makeup tomorrow to feel better.

ciao.