i hate this holiday this year, but..

he misses us a little but felt it necessary and tactful to say [and reiterate] that he is having way more fun where he is. Valentine's day is gonna suck. fuck him and his shadiness deal. fuck the pretty green eyes that make you smile even when he's so high and doesn't even know that he's looking at you. fuck the pretty mouth that's always so pleasant to kiss. the hands that felt familiar holding mine, i could catalogue for paragraphs on this gorgeous specimen of man. it would just make me bitter and cut into more study time and frankly--he's not worth it.

yeah i'm choosing plant anatomy over Adonis.

and i'll do it again, too on the 13th. see if i give a shit. oh, damn. i actually CAN'T give a shit. i have lab till 6. he's not ruining my Valentine's day like daddy has perpetually done for my poor mother. i'll let simply being single be the only thing to possibly get me down. that is, until i remember how much of a better place i really am in. no undeserving ones draining my sense of self.

so yeah. i'm going to be awake right up until i have to meet with my investigator. i hope that the Trashy Ones lives are ruined just like i want. for people with such fragile stances, you think that they would compensate in brains. oh well for that.

ugh, can't sleep. watched Fight Club today with my gay-ass buddy which is ironic because he noted how underlyingly homosexual the movie was in its tones. i explained and he was like 'oh.'

i KNOW that things are looking up and i can't wait to start feeling like they are.