my feel good revolution

this is what i'm currently and violently thankful for:

• my Wonder Woman mother
• my grandmother who reminds me of how great a tool prayer really is. i admire her for being able to just give me a scripture to read off of the top of her head.
• cheap used PS2 games and year-long warranties at GameStop
• peppermint tea
• Acetaminophen
• freshly shaved and sugar-scrubbed legs
• groceries [peppermint tea]!
• Kareah presently being with my ex "fiancé" Larry and having his baby. and while i'm at it, i'm pretty thankful for all of the rotten things his family and friend-turned-baby's mother put me through (like his big sister trying to kick my ass). this was not the life for me! the cancer has rudely been cut out, but it's out. i didn't need any of that obviously.
• having some campus cop randomly flirt with me and tell me that i look good
• good books and my friends who love them almost as much as i do
• the hope that comes with tomorrow
• THRIFT STORES!
• Pita Pit
• my fiddling manfriend whom i think hung the moon and makes magic with his eyes
• wet dreams starring comic book characters and the like that i get after i've been drinking
• Tori Amos' music touching my soul. that woman transcends so much.
• my family [living and not passed] which gets so much of my intense, hard love
• never being able to tell someone how much i truly love them because words can't encompass such. it gives me something to always aim for when i see them.
• eyeliner

picture perfect.

i stole this idea from Bryanna! not my creativity, here; it belongs to her. this is my "picture perfect" life. beware: it might be too weird to love!

my lover would be either Lestat de Lioncourt or Ville Valo of H. I. M. ha, MRoS! Lestat is my vampire lover. he's about 250 years old from L'Auvergne France and he's such a gorgeous Brat Prince. i often quote him. Lestat is the self proclaimed "Gentleman Death in silk and lace, come to put out the candles--the canker in the heart of the rose," or something like that [i'm relying on memory, here]. Ville is also very pretty to look at, but he smokes so i might relapse :( i don't know: there's just something about those stunning, light eyes and his angelic voice. i want to lick his tattoos!

From Untitled Album

yeah, Tom Cruise as the most blasphemous vampire created.
 

From Untitled Album

Ville Valo is so hot. go YouTube "Sacrament" by H. I. M.

this would be the place of my wedding--the French Quarter! i want a bilingual ceremony at some antiquated venue, thankyouverymuch. then there would be a lovely reception maybe at Le Pavilion hotel, or Saint Louis Cemetary #1.

From Untitled Album

this would be the style of my home. very vintage french chic. i like baroque and romantic things. i want a spacious house in Paris with reminders of old glamour and weird bathrooms. the inside will be geeked out with antique posters and manga. i'll play Charles Aznavour and Frank Sinatra all day.

From Untitled Album

this is a scene from the movie The Dreamers, which was a lovely mind fuck.

this would be my appearance. i like the burlesque look of the golden age; it's timeless and sexy! i'm going to be a future red-headed or blonde wench who looks like a flapper or a girl from the 40s! oh, la la! i'm already well-practiced at the fake beauty marks and overdone makeup!

From Untitled Album

this is Jessica Rabbit, Rodger Rabbit's wife

From Untitled Album

these are some burlesque performers. i don't know their names!

so, in a nutshell:

i want a gorgeous and brooding lover. i want the lifestyle of a francophile sensualist. i want to look like Betty Grable or Joséphine Baker while i waltz around being a fabulous and bilingual physician.

-----------------

alright, c'est votre tour! it's your turn!

nonsequitur? dreams.

before having a string of about three very weird wet dreams starring a past female teacher of mine and myself incarnate as an old Frenchman, i had the sweetest, simplest dream that still needs a little analysis.

i dreamed that i was standing in the rain but strangely not getting drenched with some tall man in coattails [my boyfriend/Daddy] and i had my arm very possessively wrapped around his waist because i'm short and this is where les bras comfortably rested, you see.

well, anyway. this blond man who looked exactly like Heath Ledger in a cross between his roles in 10 Things and A Knight's Tale didn't run away from me. he didn't stiffen or resist. he completely melted into his obviously well-established role to his adoring midget woman. and then comes the clincher: he wrapped one arm around my shoulder and bent down low to give me a very purposeful and not too mushy kiss--on the forehead.

swoon!

but after that, i remember vividly consecutive scenes of me being in this man's presence again and still having the same feelings for him. i remember being near him, but not being with him to the point of my dream running like a big chase around several places. there was my elementary school in a downpour, there was my apartment, there was this park/field type place, there was an English class lecture where he sat across the room with some other people... weird. but in my mind, he was still my boyfriend. i still felt very possessive and i was even scheming up a way to get him alone and to myself [in my bed] soon. i guess i figured that he wouldn't pass up that offer and that i would get the closeness and affection from him that i really wanted. hmm.

whatthecrap? now i'm just remembering that i went to sleep really early and i was really tired. i was on some mood modifying meds and i was up reading JokerxHarley fanfiction. so, i figure that this all pretty much equals an equation for disaster, or at least nonsequitur? dreams.

i'm a fangirl.

but i'm a dedicated one that has had the same sick adoration for the same monsters for over a decade. and now with this new form of my gangster bank robber Clown Prince of Crime, the sickness is rekindled and i can squee at the movie theatre and frown at the thirteen-year-old girl next to me who has never owned a Batman comic in her life, who has never faithfully watched any of his animated series, who has never wet dreamed about Joker cutting her with a knife until Heath Ledger [wonderfully] put the image into her pubescent mind.

i'm gonna buy this movie bootlegged [i've seen it twice, so i've spent my share of cash] and i'm going to do a late, but great review. and then, i'll post some links for my JokerXHarley Quinn fascination and thier Mad Love. be looking out for it and get into the mood for some obsessive appreciation for the personality disorders, domestic violence, and even more of the twisted just as soon as i get the jizz out of my panties and sheets long enough to have time to type.

my last orgasm.

my buddy X really needs to stop posting about the girl she is fucking.. i just had an awesome [wet] dream about some naked Asian girl last week. i finished so strongly, it gave me menstrual cramps.

not a lesbian, just missing the action. yeah, "whatever," you may say. i'm not smart enough to be a lesbian and bisexuality only comes to me in my dreams or at a really high BAC.

way susperstitious.

mom had a dream that dad died last night. today she dreamed it again. the two have been arguing again. when i was taking a nap after class, i dreamt that dad gave mom a present with a number "2" on it. mom looked at it and told dad that he is in trouble. so when she called me about an hour and a half ago about her dreams, i was at first too unconscious to care. i got oriented and immediately called her back to tell her about my own dream. she told me to call dad and to tell him to be careful. i called his house and he's not there.