respect me, or go marry some other broad.

wow. i just left 4chan.org and got off to one of the animated gifs from the message boards. good stuff. i do believe that i needed that. a lot of shit has been going on to where i feel like asking why the world has decided to be especially unfair to me lately. my fucking fiancé [yeah, that's right. we haven't broken up] can't mature enough to give me the respect that a woman who is about to married deserves. i don't give a damn what women he has in his life... save his mother and sisters, i'm the only one that should ever matter. this is very much a "fuck everybody else" attitude, but if he was serious about spousing me, i wouldn't have to bitch and moan here. honestly: what kind of child can't see that a fucking future wife comes before other bitches, before EVERYTHING? i don't even ask for much. it's not like we share rent and a cell phone bill.. i just want his dedication. excuuuse me for being so fucking crazy as to assume that i deserve as much!

i have a yeast infection?!

hung out with an earlier mentioned "Jay" figure yesterday. fiancé felt the need to snoop around on other people's phones, as if i didn't know or couldn't tell, just because i was with a friend! screw that, because he blew me off just prior to that day for one of his friends [not treating me like we're engaged]. i don't apologize for it, just the lying part. i'd do it again. i'm getting sick of being treated like shit and feeling guilty for shit that isn't really a crime.

i have NOT been taking my antidepressants, so i feel even more like complete garbage than i should. i fell alseep in my French class today and might as well have not even wasted my time with this math assignment. i've really got to bring those grades up. i really need a perm because my parents thought it was cool to conform to beauty standards before i could make a decision otherwise.

i'm still really fucking lonely. didn't even put on any makeup today [but guys still stop and admire my face :)]. i'm really lonely...