lo and behold--i'm having a miscarriage. well, at least i think that i am. i don't have a medical degree, yet. i woke up this morning feeling shitty after a particularly sloppy night--which is another post, not this one--and i went to go pee. i thought that i had been mangled. my thong was shot to hell, i almost threw it away.

here's the logic: if i'm looking at my calendar correctly, today is Day 14, which means that i should be ovulating. implantation bleeding doesn't occur this soon or is this fucking heavy. hmm. i've been having crazy sex sporadically over the past three weeks with my boy. damnitfuckshithell.

imagine me in the diner eating a tuna steak bleeding out of my protection, confused as hell. i almost had a horrible, disgusting accident. i truly don't know what to do with myself. i am in rare form.