i ain't dead, yet.

i'm really not dead, and don't even want to be. in fact, i have no real grounds for complaining. what are the real goings-on, then?

school is "ace." cheer is great. dance is wonderful. i'm running out of positive adjectives, here. antonio is--not the only boy in my life right now. what's wrong with two boyfriends?

point is, larry came to terms with me being everything that he wanted in a girl [i knew i was!]--just the girl in a strange guise. he described it as his mistake for not taking me when he had the chance because it seems like God is playing some joke on him. i know that feeling, although i doubt God plays jokes. and since he has had no luck with the other girls in his life, and it's smart for him to be with me, he just said last night "...let's be together..."

why not? i love antonio, jyeah. but larry excites a whole other part of my person. how about this? those dreams that i had about him every night when i was a freshmen and head-over-heels for him?--having them now. how does he do this to me? how does he do it?

i'm going to be extra romantic [stupid] here and go for it. i love larry aussi. forced in a position to be hester prynne. i just better not have a baby.