a cold shower.

after that what happened with larry happened, i realized that i was being extraordinarily stupid. people have told me over and over again, but we really do SUCK together! it took me this long to realize it, which just proves my stupidity further. dumbass monkey-looking boy. how could i do that antonio? the flesh really sucks, almost as much as the heart does. a lot of good love has ever done for me; i will censor my mouth of that four letter word for a long, long, long time! even if antonio does think that he owns me and is psycho [and might possibly beat me], he loves me!

larry called last night. our conversation went along the lines of:
me: i need to think about my being incredibly stupid, and i need to think about my boyfriend. while i'm doing all of this thinking, don't call me. you fathom us friends and all; i should call you just as much as you call [haunt] me.
larry: cheniece... will it be soon?
me: i really don't know; maybe i will call you, maybe i won't...
larry: is that right?
me: yes. the next time we talk will be because i called you, if i ever do, okay?
larry: ...alright. bye.
me: ::click:: [not me, the phone]

later he txted me: "Can we still txt?"
i didn't feel like wasting ten cents on what silence can answer.

wooooo! i've had a cold shower-of-sorts! xtina, you need an actual one... by the way, i've just seen your new layout in a compatible browser, and that header image style looks mightily familiar... i'm going to change mine, also, with a similar theme because i'm so happy--like you! too bad i don't photograph as gorgeously as you do...